Affectionate, Clingy, Overly Attached

I hate how I'm too affectionate, clingy and overly attached. HATE HATE HATE. I absolutely hate it. You guys have no idea because I get really insecure when someone doesn't reply me. I think that they have someone better in their lives and they don't need me anymore. Then I start over thinking. I start thinking that I am not that special like how they say I am. I start thinking that I'm not good enough. Then, I try to change myself and I realize that I've changed into someone I don't even know. It sucks. You know.  

❁ I have a guy bestfriend. And he means the world to me. Honestly, I don't know how life would be if I didn't have him by my side. He's been there for me, ever since we met. Despite all that I've done to him, he stood by me. He never left me. Never. I probably hurt him 100 times but he still loved me and stayed. I neglected him, ignored him, pushed him away. He told me he didn't want to bother about me anymore because he felt like it was no point. But whenever I talked to him, he still replied me. He still talked to me. The process repeats, I ignore him then talk to him only when I feel like it. But he still stayed in my life. I've always had feelings for him. Always. But they were buried. I don't know how or why it struck me big time this year. It took me so many years to realize how much I actually love him. & that's what hurts me the most. Because at the point where I want him the most, he doesn't feel the same way anymore. I took him for granted. I want to turn back time so so so badly. But then again, it was the 4 years of heartbreaks (from other guys), our friendship and arguments that taught me so much. He was there for me throughout. He helped me get together with my ex-boyfriend of 18 months. He helped me through the many heartbreaks. He accompanied me in school when I had no friends. He talked to me when I was lonely. He helped me patch things up with so many of my friends. He never left me despite hearing the many rumors about me. Last of all, he loved me like no other man could. I took that love for granted. I want to prove to him that I love him. & I want to be with him. He isn't all that perfect. He get insecure & jealous easily (which I absolutely hate in a guy because TRUST). But all his flaws become perfection. I begin questioning myself, "why didn't he appear his handsome to me before????" But then, I realized, better late than never right? He's funny, he's cute, handsome, hot, sporty, loud, tall, talented.His jokes crack me up, his laugh is the cutest thing I've ever heard, his voice when he sings is really soothing, the way he plays soccer i just.... *melts*. He's my bestfriend, my smile, my love, my everything. And I cannot lose him. Fate has brought us together again despite the many arguments. I love him & I have absolutely so much things to do with him after O's. Please stay forever. Because I don't think I can ever love anyone like how I love you. ❁